4.15.13

My feelings regarding what happened in Boston will not matter to most.  I'm not a "specialist", renowned psychiatrist or by-stander.  Like most, I am just an American watching the story unfold and feeling terror's invisible finger tap my shoulder from behind.

I am vicariously experiencing Boston as a runner and a nurse.  

As a runner I think of the rush of emotions the marathoners were feeling before the explosion.  They had done it, completed 26.2miles.  Many months of training and many sacrifices.  Time to cross the finish line.  Tim to celebrate; embrace loved ones, show off swag(a bright shiny medal) and rest.  A runner's high quickly turned low.  Terror.  Where is my family/friends?  Are they OK?  How will I ever find them?  Are my fellow runners OK?  Bless their hearts for what they experienced.

As a nurse Boston compels me to push myself to learn more.  I learn new things every day, but I feel safe with mommas, babies and women.  I want to learn more about emergency medicine.  I need to learn more about emergency medicine.

Finally I think about what it means to be an American.  It's amazing the freedoms we share.  It's amazing the hate certain individuals harbor toward us because of this freedom.  They HATE us.  I usually use the words "strongly dislike" but these individuals HATE us.  I find it hard to wrap my head around the concept.  How should we react?  We can't live in fear.  If we do they win.

How do we not live in fear?